i am at a place called Vertigo

Sentient

2011-11-07T22:29:00.000-08:00

Here cometh the sentient being,
Heard his mouth say how you been?
I looked him straight in the eye,
He figured the reason why!

Told me a thousand tales of science,
But the details were so concise,
You could figure out his reason…
Every time he paused at season

Strange man was the sentient,
Looking around in fear and disgust
Sure to find someone staring
At the very thought of caring!

I asked him, what is your opinion?
On life and its pinion!
He smiled, for the first time and said
Figure it out, it’s not a test!

Then I asked what about love?
He said looking a little cove!
I won’t be able to explain
Why the emotion is so insane!

That is the nature of its face,
To be a reason in the race
That even if you participate
You are happy for the same!

Let alone the feeling be
Making you feel so complete
But, remember not to restrain
After you have known disdain.

That’s the secret that’s it,
Nothing can compare to it,
Allow yourself to innit
Like a web that’s been knit!

Then I asked, what so of work?
His face wore a mischievous smirk
What you have you cannot feel?
If you ignore the perils of meal!

And, pray also do your spake
On how to maintain the motivate?
It’s yours to figure he said in vain
No one will teach you that game!

Then I asked what is this fame?
It’s a little light shining insane
Like a bow and arrow show
Applause only on striking the foe!

And about that which makes
Us go around, the bush
The mind of man, is such a pain
It stalls and calls for hourly slain!

He smirked, this time in disfigure
And managed to look up above
Moved his lips, in curses unheard
And smacked the ground and the gird!

Still in anger he murmured,
I was not so shocked too, I figured
You will, you shall, you might, you ought…
To undo the things you do to thought!
It’s effortful and smother some…
But, still is better than all the humdrum!

Life as it is:

2011-08-24T00:46:00.001-07:00

Columns of life drive past me,
Like a box of pencils through the sharpener.
I call her but she is nowhere,
Her smell in my lips, her eyes feel the glimpse.

I wonder often about those lovely days,
Were those in wonder or asunder?
It makes me think about the challenges we cater.
Really to whom do they cater?

A gate opens towards a garden of roses,
They pout and smile and their veil across oozes…

I catch the scent midair,
Like a beetle flies through the ensnare.
A lion roars in triumph, what is the triumph?
His mate is saying humph…

Wait the Cheetah says to its son who’s all ablaze,
Across the land full of maze.
Rhinos love the smell of grass,
Its greener on their side too! Alas!

A Tiger roams fearlessly, But going nowhere aimlessly.
I kill time by writing crap,
That’s life, it will be a wrap.
A wondrous joy in finding the map.

I sing for rains, I dance in chains
How pitiful are these loss and gains
The place stinks of numbing scams
I run towards the Himalayan camps.
They fill that place with towels damp!

I still wonder what you would be wondering?
I hope you never forget dreaming,
‘Cause life’s a dream till you realize.
Its time to wake.

Running, jumping, laughing and cringing
I bite the yellow fruit of ringing.

Its autumn time, the fruits are none,
But best of all there is no fun!

The challenge of Hercules was nothing compared to this,
The greatest challenge of the mind,
Is to free the thoughts and make untied…

Incinerate

2011-02-16T12:51:00.001-08:00

Back in the phase
It’s like a cat and mouse chase
A never ending maze
My heart is ablaze.

Through the channels of numbness
I seek refuge in dumbness
Its mind numbing
Its like an ugly duckling!

Wandering through the ages of hysteria
Secrets don’t unfold, still a mysteria,
Winds of change beginning to blow.
How wish it would snow!

I carry with me the boy,
A single arrow without a toy
Fresh memories need to be created
But for that I need to be resurrected.

I march along with a brave face
Don’t mistake it for a base
Yellow feelings of anger
Its love I say, it’s a hunger.

Crossbow dream throw away
Waiting for it, still today
Screaming laughter pours like rain,
It cajoles the mind from the pain.

First cut or wide butt,
Stick in the red blue – hut!
Leaves are singing!
What are they singing?

Haha I say, please give me way
Through the narrow edges of ashtray
Clean the garbage
Unleash the carnage.

The Journey

2011-01-07T10:19:00.000-08:00

Commenced a journey in vain,
Washed down by thunder and rain,
Hours of kneeling in vain,
Restricted my thoughts with pain.

A mountain I thought I’ll climb,
A kingdom I vowed to outshine,
Just a reason for desperate situations.

A heart swollen with tears,
Melting away all the years,
Forlorn I went into the unknown
How do I know it’s the unknown?

Sweeping eagles all hover above,
They see the prey then shine out loud.
A sparkling in the eye,
A rabbit’s neck cut! Why?
It’s daily routine, its daily quarantine.

You don’t judge,
You don’t fudge.
Crazy as it seems, its better than the worldly affairs.

The journey ended half way through.
It started, it jerked and made me new.
Did it?

Millions have taken one,
Others are still to take.
Why does the journey feel so great?

Like a sea of oceans,
Like a dream of seasons
I move on!
The man, the child and me!

Cut across a channel of joy,
It lurks, it casts a shadow so clear…
Yet won’t stay, this I know
In hours of distress there’s sorrow too!

Wheels of fortune through the air.
Castles built but do they care?
Of men and women who cringe for space!
Be gone I say, be gone today!
You deserve the earthly rage again,
My friend and I have escaped the disdain.

Thunder mountains in the sky,
Calling us to yonder…Go fly
We’ll lead the change with shallow strain
I care for nothing, nothing is same.

We build the long hours and try,
A spring of joy a lovely sky,
A gap so wide the earth is nowhere!

Why care? Why care? Why care...?

Create the Creator!

2010-11-02T11:55:00.001-07:00

A voluminous truce of insanity
I welcomed back humanity
Of unwell shores and secluded delights,
A legal battle by moths for neon lights.

Nuances of illicit emotions
A change of heart for unkept reactions
I cross my legs in discomfort
I look at the horizon with little effort.

Wings guiding their flights,
Crossing the shoes of wakeful delights
The peacock stares at the broken wheel of myriad colours
Waiting to dip its feathers in drops of Solaris.

Looking at the challenges put forth,
I feel my life has been blazed through the forks,
The patheways of glory wait to beseech
Its rendereing a dream held stop with a screach.

Hollowed down voices of underachievement
Rising echoes of squanderers on the pavement,
Like a devil incinerate,
It wreaks of people who wait.

The Oblivion

2010-10-07T23:40:00.001-07:00

All passions subside,
Long towers collide,
Engaging ideas are polite

The oceans beckon,
The years overcome,
Making changes,
Through yearly fringes.

A sleek oblivion,
A challenge of Arian,
A crossbow of thought,
A feeling that surmounts.

I call it lever,
Making the quiver,
Of boundaries and shiver,
We welcome the beaver.

Never ending seasons,
Of perfect reasons,
Songs and threesomes,
We welcome the masons.

Zindagi Ek Kwaab:

2010-07-23T12:35:00.000-07:00

Har raat ko subah mili,
Har dil ko dard mila,
Har saaye ko andhera,
Har ujaale ko basera

Par pyass abhi hai
Kuch yaad abhi hai
Who puchte hai chain kaha?
In andheron mein savera kaha?

Pucho toh jano, ehsaas hi hai rutba
Kashish hai yeh ajooba.

Pathrile Khwaab

2009-12-07T21:18:00.001-08:00

Ek unsuni si aatma,
Cheek rahi hai kone se,
Ek khwaab hai jo pura na hua,
Dildaar hai jo haath se chut gaya.

Phir bhi hai kashish,
Ek koshish, ek antim abhilasha,
Saason ko bhulane ki kasar na chodi.
Yaadon ko bandkar hatheli mein door kayi phenk aaya,
Phir bhi hai talaash, jane kiski hai talaash?
Kahi un yaadon ki toh nahi?

Woh hansiyon ki baarish,
Woh unsuni si khwaaish,
Woh pyaar dard mein lipti hui,
Woh dard pyaar mein bandhi hui!

Har pal tanha hai, har pal sunehra,
Kitni yaadein saamayi hai, dil hai gehra,
Aaj dard ko na roko,Behne do aansuon ka saagar,
Ek lamha, ek boondh se bhara.
Khele, tatolo us boondh ko tum,
Hulchul ho koi toh hone do,
Phir khilo usse aur
Sajao ek naya savera.

Remember the time

2009-10-31T05:44:00.000-07:00

The mind has become numb,
the feelings are dead.
No more do the flowers blossom,
no more do I swoop to smell them.

How painful is separation,
Finally i know, it wreaks of isolation.
So condemned to be free,
My words are emptier than my soul.
The whole being craves for glories behold.

The sparks of joy come and go,
They tend to ignite & win,
How many changes have i seen,
So fast, so quick, it bleeds the spleen.

Give me time to recover my beloved,
for you and I will be one someday.
Till then you be happy and sad.

Cause I am hurt and its really bad,
Why should we speak of living?
When every place speaks of death.

A ray of hope somewhere in the darkness,
I tend to follow it through its madness,
Clouded by fear and cries of hatred,
Shallow thoughts of friends and foes,
At least today the foe lasts longer than the friend.

Still I go on every day,
Dreaming and screaming within,
I wish it would end soon,
So that i can find the peace i am searchin'

Running towards a shore of happiness,
Moving close to kindness,
It feels good to be hurt though,
It taught me life and made me go...

To burn the feelings through the air,
And write reasons that i still care,
Through the wear and tear a heart melts,
Away to bear a pain so unknown it scares.

Something found, something lost.

2009-09-10T22:38:00.000-07:00

Finally found rest a heart,
Secure in a nest.

Broken, betrayed enclosed abreast,
Carried away to tales of unrest.

Marching feelings of love & disgust,
A source of constant need to repress.

Age on age, man tried to dress,
A volatile mind fueled with fear & detest.

Singing songs of disparity,
Going back towards singularity.

Oh! Please can i get a time machine,
To save me from this Frankenstein.

Sarcastic laughter across the land,
Its cruel but feels like a soothing hand.

Meanings have changed, meanings are lost,
Going down the narrow lane to be with the ghost.

Never will i say again,
Love makes a man go insane,
It makes him sane.

Human Bondage - Why do we have to endure so much pain??

2009-09-09T06:43:00.000-07:00

Nothing seems proper now,
Reasons seem to crop up now,
It is this that is hard to digest,
The end is near, its time to rest.

You try to make sense of the world,
But it seems so senseless it makes you swirl,
Journeying the path to eternity,
Trying to find belief in destiny.

Conversations makes a lasting touch,
Let's keep talking a longer as such,
Chiming thoughts of bound impulses,
Make believe lessons of uncertain senses.

I call for power, force and justice,
Neglecting these will make it harder to suspect it,
The shackles are broken,
But the heart has not mended.

Its hard to believe in something,
Anything or everything,
Why is that change is so sort after,
When everyday we keep looking for the master.

Hours seem to penetrate deep without purpose,
They all seem to be looking for a landing surface.

How inconsistent are the fruits of success?
It comes, it leaves without taking rest!

Digression

2009-07-04T01:26:00.000-07:00

Here i am scorched and wounded,
Blinded by knives of hatred.
Engaged in seeking the truth,
Never really understood.

All memories seem to surround her
All feelings seem to stir,
But it's love which is costly
And i don't have the money.

Remember the time spent in wonder,
Calling to myself in rain and thunder
It's the voice which inspires
Not the self which just expires.

Detachment is engrossing today
More profound than is was yesterday
How will i build my dreams?
The path itself is cursed with screams!

Utter Crap

2009-05-04T01:03:00.000-07:00

Theories of elevation are all right but their relation is what subjugates an entire consciousness of spawned ideas. This belief in superfluous circumstances is what makes us scorch the unending factors of zero tolerance, believing the squandering process of mystification and origination. I only allow blades of thin grass to pierce me and not barks of trees which can make me cut in two, that is fun too, but m not ready to enter into an spasm of gargantuan proportions because it is obviously over powering, have you ever thought about the time you spent inside the womb, no ... right because we don’t know what happened in there...its this feeling of nothingness that overpowers oneself and allow conscious thoughts to pass by without logical explanations…

Long time No see

2009-02-12T11:36:00.000-08:00

The irrational consequences that enrich the mind are all but bigotry. An uncontrollable desire to believe in things you can't understand. Through the ever changing mediatory circumstances a life so insipid, you only aim to live once. But then thinking and valuing the beings that dwell amongst you is what you crave for and make a purpose of. The question still remains, as to why are you here? To believe in something or to create something for others to believe in. A never changing psychological endeavour towards meaningful existence. A making in the mind and a source of conviction through life changing circumstances. Live it or get free!

Says Aristotle...

2008-12-18T02:58:00.000-08:00

"To say of something which is that it is not, or to say of something which is not that it is, is false. However, to say of something which is that it is, or of something which is not that it is not, is true."

- Aristotle.

Treachery

2008-10-21T13:39:00.000-07:00

Man its tiring to always keep on comprehending your past, and its essence. I could do that forever, all day long. But it dosent do me any good except for the fact that it occasionaly makes me cry, which is good i think. But when you start to find the deeper and higher meanings you come to the conclusion that you cannot justify it just by knowing the past, but rather living the present and then probably analysing a part of you, that is hidden, destroyed, inhibited or forgotten. When you achieve that you will find that there is nothing more secure and obscure than that.

Although i would add that certain things will definitely make you wanna kill yourself but that can be overcome given the fact, not all judgement arises from good but rather good done to you by others. Making you think and rethink the idea of obscurity and then having to match your thoughts on that wavelength, which is even tougher but you will achieve eventually and make the most out of it seeking deeper prospects of sureshot success. Only to be established by an already existing idea and thus allwoing yourself the freedom, justice, pathos, energy, solitude. etc. that one needs to find the right kind of answers. Thus making contemplate the justice of your soul.

Now this is known as crap:

2008-09-15T16:16:00.000-07:00

Now I am waiting here tonight, for what? The world to end and reborn as a soul, discreet of its good.
Making changes that are sound, the clock is wound,
That goes round and round and round. Oh! How insane the pain we bound.

It hurts, to be hound. But believe me its better than the feelings which surround.
Scorching inconsistence, all or nothing to the future, cast by spells of despair.
Ageing me slowly is the splinter in my head,
It feels like a pillow under the bed. The ability to be held, close to city’s bend.

All I see is fear, hatred and revenge. How I crave for the bench,
Bring the money, Lets burn it honey.
Make a free dummy, save me a penny. All across its funny.
But I am dark and bunny, blues around the world making you edge towards the bright day sunny.

Chitter, chatter of humans, worse than the deacons.
Felt down by the beacons,
I’ll kill all just to be free, under a tree. Me, myself and thee,
Just us the three, How insecure the lead.

Beauty is just a need, of the mind towards the seed,
Through surmounting feed, it beckons the fruitless deed,
Hoards of boring deals, of what one feels.
So sure, you are near seals who laugh at the kneels.

Of photographers who steal, their innocent meals.

Whoever he was...

2008-09-14T15:47:00.001-07:00

Walter Kaufmann described existentialism as "The refusal to belong to any school of thought, the repudiation of the adequacy of any body of beliefs whatever, and especially of systems, and a marked dissatisfaction with traditional philosophy as superficial, academic, and remote from life.

Poem in distress:

2008-09-14T15:38:00.000-07:00

Engaged in a self involved conflict,
I stare at the empty eyes of people who are known as friends, never to gain never to reign...

Impulsed by the fruitful desire of love, thoughts proved sufficient enough to disapprove...

Blinded by wounds of the heart, Scorched by the meaninglessness of life, Bound by the power of hope I stand, sinful and sorrowful, amongst whispers and curses I breathe,

Knowing the fact never lose hope; Life seems to fade away, only to reappear as an illusion, nothing is worth living for, but there are something's worth dying for...

Fascinating

2008-08-26T23:01:00.000-07:00

Throughout history man has evolved into being able to see and believe things that are beyond his understanding. These standing out feelings are the only things that determine our existence. We believe in a self assured and all loving world, whereas in truety its a world caped in lust, greed and needs and breeds of selfless mismanaging individuals. Though the idea that man overpowers is a fact, it is a myth. It becomes believable only when all the future is maniacal and wants to make a statement, which deals with a life long melting of your borrowed feelings. we never engaged in an idea different from ours, but are living with it day after day never once questioning our existence. Why???What is the purpose of all this???Where do we go from here???

Totally Wasted

2008-08-26T22:39:00.000-07:00

All of this analysis, these repurcussions, these engaging ideas and its relevant sub ordinate fucked up properties. I have come to only one conclusion and that is this life is not for me. Having challenged myself and plotting against me, I have moved to a stage of self derogatory and hateful regret, making me think of all the consequences that i have endured or expected will endure. Relating to them and making statements which are equally superflous. I can justify that all is a waste. The meaninglessness has overwhelmed, empowered and obscured the mind. It has become like a splinter in my mind, making me believe that possible illusions of the mind are relevant and mechanical. This lifestlye drains you out, for sure but more than that it makes you stop thinking, which i believe is worse than suicide. But making count of the much avoided sociological makeup of the mind. I can feel that i can judge a better tomorrow though at the cost of my life.

How a man needs a source of inspiration is inspirational itself. Making thought provoking and conscious ideas which need to be subjected to a self governing awareness and leads you to build on the depreciated costs and binding forecasts of methodical purpose and also needs to be occured in a state that has never occured, never orderd or bothered, untill reached a self realising state of nothingness. Only to be governed by an obscure needless idea, of maniacal consciousness. This allows us to consider the proximity of the near by authoritative nature of self regulatory consciousness, echoed by words of fortitude. But again only leading to an ultimatum of knowing the good from the bad. Its good but it has an existence beacuse of bad, so how do you define bad???

Origination

2008-07-20T11:49:00.000-07:00

How can i deny the feelings of vagaries caused by the meaninglessness of futile belonging. Edging towards a self assessed and ridiculed feeling of loneliness. Although in a road surrounded by hoardes of people nothing seeems to seem known and yet nothing is unknown. Though ordered by the occult, to stand and guard the meaning is lost. Making you think and suppress thoughts that go beyond human ideas. But holding on to them makes you feel human again. A hermit never reasons his actions because he knows that the path towards the end never asks any answers, but only questions. Nothing improper or nothing insecure only the conscious self emanating thoughts are sort after. They say that the mind only relates to concious thoughts and efforts but that is not the case. There are thoughts beyond your mental capabilites to understand whihc you know exist but will never find answers for. You will keep searching and hunting all your life only to be dissapointed in yourself and asking for self modulation.

Betrayal

2008-05-20T15:06:00.000-07:00

Hmmm..a complex emotion to deal with..but luckily i hav had many experiences with it.Some heart breaking others enlighting..he he..yes enlighting cause when sumone betryas u..u realise th actual self of tht person n how unimportant u were n his/her life..tht they cud just betray u without ever reconsidering it...Every action has a cause but sum dnt hav..wht do u do abt these kind of actions..how does one react to thm n furthr engage in a battle which is equally inspiring and controlling..We keep thinking of getting over our betrayals but honestly we never get over thm...we constantly keep analysing thm n thinking abt th reasons for it..though we may not be at fault still..who cares..a little bit of thinking can always be given to useless things like tht..wht say??Its sometimes gud to be betrayed by others but not gud to betray others...think abt it...

Sluuurrrrrp

2008-04-07T14:24:00.000-07:00

Well this one is about a drink which i have on a regular basis n th feeling tht it evokes in me..Th drink is just sherbat which one gets at th golawala's but the kind of ingredients tht go into it are beyond compare. I usually make him put milkmaid in my sherbat and the taste which develops is just ecstatic..The aroma enchants you before you take a sip, you feel like u dnt want to drink it, just keep on feeling th smell of th freshly grated ice, the thick milkmaid syrup and th essenceful gola liquid which is been put into it..The smell is so nourishing tht for a second or two i feel like i am the king of the world, it just teleports you to a world which you hardly know but wanna be in forever, it is an instant healer of pain and sorrow, mellowd down feelings n the sureshot succesion of being alive.And whn you gulp it down, it goes thru th neck n slowly into the darknessof the stomach, but leaves a mesmerising taste in your mouth,a craving which is only fulfilled by taking anothr sip....I wish those glasses could just keep on coming,but alas..th money..oh th money..i swear ill conquer it one day.

Never mind...

2008-04-04T15:13:00.000-07:00

Vertigo they say is a disorder of the brain in which one feels dizzy, its bad to have it..i dnt agree to it..man i wish i had it somehow n thn engage in a flight of dreams never heard nvr seen nver felt. Surest way to being excited beyond a point of no return is this feeling along wiht th feeling of becoming one with th tunes of nature..njoying th minuscules of laughter., and thn heading towards anever ending passage of metamorphosis of the mind. Vertigo is the place all shud be, to allow oneself th freedom of thought beyond thought n thinking in a way like u nvr hav n nvr will, self producing meaninglessness of worried down dark secrets n returning to th world of th dead. U wanna run to it n still cnt reach it, u wanna hide but u r already seen, its like the feeling of being not sure whethr ur dreaming or still awake....ever had tht. Its wht keeps one thinking to go beyond th fucking human trials n tribulations n to think abt a life without th ideation of belongingness, of living, of searching, of engaging, of feeling.....Misery they say is th man's second best friend n how true it stands. i hav been trying to but in vain, as sugar coated as it seams its simply blinding n behaving in a self improved cathartic feeling of vengeance..Blood thirsty n gut wrenching it speaks, a two edged sword, u get cut in some or th other way..